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Our world is one of instant gratification. I can have popcorn in two minutes and the response to a text in seconds. Thanks to my fancy phone, I never have to wait until I get home to check my e-mail, and I can update twitter whenever it strikes my fancy. I grow annoyed at red lights and frustrated at train tracks. Waiting is not something I do well.
I know I'm not alone in this. Go on, admit it. You're not good at waiting either. You know what you want, and like Veruca Salt on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original version), you want it now.
The fast-paced-have-it-your-way-in-five-minutes-or-less culture that we live in has bred us to expect instant results. And most of the time, that's fine. Except, of course, when we're required to wait.
This week, I've been studying the Old Testament story of Abraham and Sarah. God promised them something big, and they waited a looooooooong time - 25 years to be exact - for it to happen.
Have you ever been there? Stuck in a holding pattern, waiting for something more? I am so there, y'all. I know how they felt. God promised me something a long time ago, and I'm wondering how long it will take for it to happen.
A couple of months ago, I went to Nashville with some other women from my church to attend a leadership forum. As I listened to some really fabulous women speak and teach, I was reminded of how badly I desire that kind of ministry. I recalled the moments in my life when I have felt God's firm hand tugging me in that direction...and yet...I wait.
Don't get me wrong - God has always been faithful to me. He has provided writing projects that have stretched and challenged me. I am currently overwhelmed by offers from editors, and that's a good thing. Three years ago, with my brand new M.Div. gathering dust in the closet, it took me months to generate any sort of interest in my work. Months. I am thankful and grateful for the editors who have taken chances on me and allowed me to contribute to their publications. They have helped me get this train rolling.
But I'm still not satisfied. I want more. The prophet Jeremiah famously said that the word of God burned in him like a fire that he simply could not hold in.
I'm weary of holding it in, y'all.
And yet, in six short months, I will give birth to a brand new baby. My sweet little toddler is turning into quite a handful. I can't even manage to go to the grocery store most weeks, much less travel across the country teaching the word of God. It's just not time for that dream to become a reality. As much as I long for God to use me in such extraordinary ways, I feel like He is first calling me to be faithful in the place I am right now. In this stage of life. To raise my babies and serve in my church and write when I can.
God's delay in fulfilling His promises is not His denial of their eventual realization.
Abraham and Sarah learned that by waiting. As for me, well, I'm trying. Patience takes practice, you know. I'm learning that just because it may not happen overnight doesn't mean that it won't happen at all. I'm taking it one step at a time and one assignment after another, all the while trusting that God's timing is impeccable.
Until next time, grace and peace.