Last night I had a moment, well, several moments, really, in which I thought I had lost everything on the blog. Well, not everything. I do have all of the posts and comments and pictures saved in a backup file. I'm talking about the site structure itself. Major panic ensued.
Obviously, you're reading this, so I got everything sorted out, but for about four hours last night, I was at my wit's end. Which is silly, really, because it's just a website. But it's a website that I built and customized for myself, and it took me a long time to get it exactly the way I wanted. I was seeing hours and hours of getting it just right again in my future, and the prospect made me shudder.
This is just the most recent of events that has set me back lately, and the more these little things pop up, the more I've noticed something about myself.
When things don't go the way I have planned, I get bent out of shape. And when I say bent out of shape, I mean that I get twisted up into an unrecognizable form of myself. I obsess over "fixing" things when it's obvious to everyone else that they can't be fixed.
I don't want to be that way.
I want to be the kind of woman who takes things in stride. Who never gets her feathers ruffled or works herself into a tizzy. I want to calmly step both feet into my big girl panties, pull them up, and just deal with it.
This, I know, is going to be a slow and painful process, and given some of my recent circumstances, I'm afraid that it's an area that God really wants to work on right now.
He always does that, you know. Gets me in the gut.
I've been feeling overwhelmed lately with everything I've loaded on my plate. It's piled higher than a styrofoam tray at Thanksgiving dinner, and when I dive in to tackle the butterbeans, I send my cornbread tumbling off the plate. It's not pretty.
I called my mom Monday and asked her to come get Micah, who has refused to nap consistently for the past month, and when Micah refuses to nap, I can't write, which is a problem since I have two major deadlines at the beginning of next week. I have to work this week. Thank goodness for grandparents, right?
I'm hoping that I'll be able to get back on track while Micah's at my parent's house. That maybe these few days will be like pushing the reset button, and when I retrieve her, all will be calm, and my plate will have a few empty sections.
One can hope, right?
Until next time, grace and peace.