My Heart Is Broken a Little Bit, Mommy


Chloe, Myli Cate, and Micah the day before we moved

It took Micah some time to realize that we weren't just visiting Gran and Pop. That this is permanent. That we left our old house behind, and we're never ever moving back into it.

But when she finally understood what moving is all about, she got very, very sad.

She talks about her old friends all the time. How she misses playing with them and seeing them. Then she hangs her head and says, "I'll never see them again."

The other day, on the way into town, we were talking about how she would be starting preschool at a brand new school in just a couple of months. That's when her little face crumpled and she said, "My heart is broken a little bit, Mommy. I want to go back to our old house."

And that broke my heart a little bit.

I'm so sad for her. One of the things that tears me up the most about this move is that she won't get to grow up with Myli Cate and Chloe. Myli Cate and Chloe will be lifelong friends. They'll go to school together and play in the park together and go to prom together, and Micah won't be a part of it. My heart aches for the loss of that life.

I hope that the three of them will be lifelong friends - that they will keep in touch and that we'll plan girl trips together and make an effort to maintain their friendship, but I know that they won't be nearly as close as they could have been if we had stayed.

And that's tough.

We went back to visit a couple of weeks ago, and Micah was on cloud nine. We stayed at Myli Cate's house, and the girls played nonstop from the moment we arrived until the moment we left. As I was watching them play one afternoon, it suddenly dawned on me that my sweet little girl hadn't played with a friend since we moved.

That made me want to cry.

One of the hardest things about parenting is finding the right words to say when your little one is hurting. I can't fix this one with a kiss and a princess BandAid. God will have to stitch up that little broken heart, and I know He will, but it will take time.

While the tears welled up in the backseat, I said the only thing I could think of at the moment.

"It's OK to be sad, sweetie, but we can't stay sad forever. So take a few minutes to miss your friends, then let's sing a silly song to cheer up."

And so, we did.

Until next time, grace and peace.